ANGER 9/2014

ANGER – by Robert Allan, PH.D. A book about a three-step plan for getting to the root of the problem and resolving it.

Mrs. Q says: Yes, it is about ANGER – one’s own anger and also how to handle others who are angry screamers and yellers. Is it necessary to always let out your anger by screaming, yelling, poking? Is it healthy to do so? NOT SO, says this author. Holding in your anger is not a bad trait to have. Think about the moment and what happened to provoke the anger and then 1.STATE YOUR POSITION in a clear, calm statement of how things look from your viewpoint. 2.STATE YOUR OPPONENT’S VIEWPOINT – in a calm, statement state or mirror what that person might be feeling, thinking, wanting. 3. PRESENT A PROPOSAL FOR SOLVING THE PROBLEM – “put an offer on the table”- some resolution that is acceptable to both and meet both your needs. 4. MAKE AN AGREEMENT – agree to the new terms – perhaps even writing the finer points down.

Mrs. Q reminds Parents/Grandparents to remember who are the Parents of the little ones. Yes, if the little ones are being abused in any manner, yes the Grandparents should step in and say something. But matters of dress, which sports, or any other issues should be left up to the parents or speak up if asked. Never hit, push, etc anyone when you are angry and never ever punish “little ones” when you are angry – calm down – then discuss the issue with the children or calmly discuss issues with the Parent’s of the child but not when the “little one” is around as to undermine the Parent. Then go back and enjoy the grand-children, and then give them back to the parents at the end of the day.

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